Musings of a Modified Mummy

This, my friends, is one of my new bikes.

Officially it’s called Honey, which for a while is what it is going to be called.

But goddamn is the colour ugly!

So we’re going to be changing it! My plan is for a black/pink striped effect, thusly:

If I were to do that, I’d also change the grips, and would replace the brake wire covers.

Plus, I desperatly want some black and pink danglies for the handlebars, lol.

I’m wondering if anyone else has any idea’s. Feel free to take the original picture and go mad! Lets see what you’ve got!

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Right, I’ve focused on the negative.

Here we have the positives of Moving back into town.

1) I have grown up in Penrith, it’s a shitty place, but it’s my hometown and I love it!

2) I will not be so isolated. I know more people, there are more places to go, and hopefully I won’t be going stir crazy trapped in my house all day!

3) Things and activities will not rely quite so much on Popples schedule. Currently everything we do depends on whether Pop is working or not.

4) I will be able to start working again, without worrying about how I’m going to get home at the end of the night.

5) Callum will be able to go to school with his uncles. My brothers are 9 and 6, and they all adore each other.

6)Callum will learn about Penrith Castle in school! It sounds silly, but there are the ruins of a castle there, and every child in Penrith learns the basic history of it in Primary school. Callum would love to know more, and my memory has leaked with most of the details.

7) I might get back some sembelance of a social life. I’ll be able to go out, and stagger home without panicing that I’ll miss the last bus or something.

I might be able to see my mum more often. She’s only ever been to this house a small handful of times. Last time was when I was in labour with Sammy (which is a whole other story)

9) Shops! I’ll be able to shop easily, and go to the library and the parks and all sorts. Instead of a rush job.

10) The rent is slightly cheaper (because it’s a smaller house), and it’s still with the HA so we don’t have any instability

11) Popple will be able to cycle to work most days, meaning we’ll save even more on fuel!

12) My Grandma might be moving up to Penrith too, which means I may be able to finally have a regular babysitter!

13) I love the process of moving house! Packing things up, pretending to be organised, finding hidden/lost treasures… I adore it all! Oh, and can’t forget the take-away dinner the day you move in!

All in all, it is a good thing we’re moving. We started packing the other day, and as we’re not going ’till October we can do it at a leisurely pace. I’m also trying to sell a load of stuff on ebay and in the local paper. The bad thing is, even though we’re making space we’re just filling it up. We’re going to be getting two new bikes tomorrow! A Tandem (in pieces, it’s our latest project!) and an olde bike we’re going to repaint and stuff.

I’m excited!

About moving and the bikes.

Things WILL be looking up. And I’ll cling to that hope untill we’re homeless

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Reasons why I don’t want to move:

After two years living here, we have finally settled in.

There are beautiful lanes and roads around here for cycling

The school is small, with small intimate classes.

Now the pub is open again, all the piss-heads congregate there most of the day.

I can buy my eggs straight from the farm (milk too maybe, if I asked. Mmmm un-pasteurised full fat milk!)

The Green. Outside out house is a huge open grassy area, where the kids can run riot. Callum can just tell me he’s going out to play, and off out he goes.  If we move into town, Callum will not have that kind of freedom again for a very long time.

Callum’s friends. There are so many kids here for Callum. Two in particular he sees every day. Hell, sometimes they knock on the door for him so early they have joined us for breakfast!

My friends. While I’ll admit there are only two people here I would consider close friends, there are a few more that I get on with in a friendly way. It takes me a very long time to become friends with someone, as most people get scared off easily. The fact I’ve found two here that totally get me is astounding!

The house. I like our house. I like the size, especially the fact that we have room in our dining room for a piano. To get ready for this move we’re having to majorly downsize what we own. Not that it’s a bad thing, but we’re having to make some tough choice over what to see, what to freecycle etc.

I’ll never get to finish my porch. I’ve been decorating it as a tribute to video games, and it’s nowhere near done. And now we know we’re moving, why bother.

We have box stairs, and a banister at the to hand wet towels.

The walk to the school (or hell, anywhere in the village) only takes about 5 minutes max.

Most people in my part of the village is in the same boat. Young families with kids and not enough money, lol.

Callum has been so excited for so long about going to the big part of school (as the pre school was separate) that I feel bad for him, that he’d only be there for half a term.

Plus, last but not least…

It just feels wrong.

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We are going to be moving house.

This is the news that has been tearing me up inside.

A little bit of back story:

We lived in an absolute hovel in Penrith. I’ve lived there most of my life, but we could not afford anything better in the private renting market.

The house, well, cottage really, had damp coming in through the walls, the windows were single glazed (and a couple had holes in them!), for the first year we had NO HEATING bar one small single electric plug in heater, there was a terrible ant infestation,  as it was a cottage all the rooms were odd shapes, it opened up right onto a main road (which pissed idiots would walk by and bang on our windows at stupid o’ clock in the morning)

Oh god it was a hellish place.

So, after three years on the housing association waiting list, we jumped at the first place they offered us.

A temporary thing of course, we didn’t want to stay out of Penrith too long. The place we moved too was a village a few miles away.

And that was two years ago.

We gave up hope that we’d swap, and started to try and make do with this place. We have never fit in, and I think years and years wouldn’t help us fit in any better.

And I’m a bit of a snob.

So being surrounded by generations of families that that don’t work and are quite happy to spend every evening drinking and shouting obscenities across the estate, kinda put a damper on the area. Plus the not so concealed hatred of us.

Of course there are some wonderful people around us, but the loud drunk ones seem to take up more space.

After a while though, we managed to learn to ignore the idiots, and started to try and enjoy the area. There are so many beautiful places to cycle around here, the few people we do like are amazing. There is one woman I’ve really started to become friends with, and I’m gutted to be leaving her.

I suck at making friends, so the fact that after starting to get to know her we’re leaving, really hurts. She’s what I’d class as an Earth Mummy, doesn’t use chemicals, wears her baby, homeschool(ed) her kids (until they decided they wanted to go to school), uses washable nappies… I’d love to be more like her!

Anyway. We’re moving from this place.

It’s a good and bad thing.

I’ll focus on the bad tomorrow, the good the day after that.

Hopefully if I leave this on the high post it’ll make me feel better.

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Oh hell.

While we’ve actually done very little in terms of summer activities (thank you british summer rain!) it’s been a bloody busy summer for us.

And it’s not over yet!

Sammy started walking a few weeks ago. He could toddle 3 steps easily, then just fell flat on his bum. We went to my mothers house, and her lovely soft carpet seemed to encourage him to just get up and walk. It’s so cute seeing him toddle around the house.

We’ve all been cycling a lot as a family. Over just htree days we cycled about 17 miles. We managed to cycle to the nearest village and back, and were so proud we just had to do it again the next day. Except we went a bit further each day, lol. The fact that we’re cycling with a 4 year old means we go at his pace, but I have to say, stopping frequently is fine by me!

I’m currently weighing in at 15st 13lb. When I lose just 4 more lb’s I’ll have lost two whole stone! And, I’m wearing a pair of size 18 trousers for the first time in forever! I’m feeling great about it.

Sammy has finally got his own ‘teddy’. Callum has a blue teddy he takes everywhere, and loves to bits. Well, Sammy has started dragging his own around with him. It’s a lovely soft Panda, and it’s so cute. And when we say ‘Where’s Panda’, he knows what we’re saying and tries to look for it.

I’ve found (what I think to be) the perfect present for Sarah over at My Fickle Mind. And I’ve been experimenting with knitting patterns for the other part of her gift. If you don’t know about her birthday experiment, get on over to this post to have it all explained.

Callum got two pet fish, which he christened ‘Teddy’ And ‘Mystery’. They live in a spongebob fishtank, and the Mystery name is a reference to spongebob also. Can you say obsessed?!

I’m all officially enrolled on a course with the Open University, to study Health and Social care. I’m terribly excited! It’ll be great to be learning that stuff, and hopefully working towards a degree.

I am currently bidding on a tandem bike on ebay. No-one else has bid, and there are only a few hours to go. It’s totally in pieces which may put people off, but I’m always looking for a new project, and if building a tandem is my next one, so be it!

I’m gonna leave this post here. I have something else going on at the moment, which should be a happy thing but it’s just tearing me up inside. I can’t stop thinking about all the negatives of it, and will probably post it later to get it off my chest.

(No, I’m not pregnant)
Hope your summers have been wonderful so far.

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A friend of mine has recently done something very ballsy, in my opinion. And the very fact that she has done this, has inspired me to grow a pair and do something similar.

Her name is Sarah, and she owns the My Fickle Mind blog family. It is her 30th birthday on the first of September, and in a nutshell, she has basically asked outright for presents from random people.

I absolutly love this idea! As a person who more often than not tries to put others always before myself, the very thought of being so blatant about a desire for things is shocking! And I understand where she’s coming from, as it seems to be that without this experiement, her 30th birthday will end up passing as basically just another day. As I’ve had a few birthdays that have gone the same way, having the ability to help someone avoid that is wonderful!

In her own words:

I know the proper thing to say is, “I don’t need presents.”. However, this year I don’t want to be proper. I want the presents. I fantasize about a table full of gifts just waiting for me to open. I see shiny wrapping paper and beautiful bows on boxes filled with mysterious surprises. I imagine checking my mailbox and finding cards and packages waiting for me. I see it overflowing each day. I even look forward to the anticipation of waiting for September 1st to open all my gifts.

So I highly reccomend popping over to Sarah’s Birthday Blog, and if you’ve got the time or the money, to send her a little something.

This relates to me, because I’m going to do something ballsy, asking outright for something I want. (Although it’s not going to be a pretty as what My Fickle Mind is asking, lol)

I am doing a sponsered walk on the 5th of September. The walk is for 6 miles, and is in aid of Eden Valley Hospice.  It’s also one that starts at midnight, which is certainly appealing.

This walk, as well as doing something great for a worthy cause, is a motivator for me. It is the reason I have been eating better, excersizing more, and losing weight.  Plus, if   when I cross the finishing line, I’ll get my very own medal. I have NEVER won anything physical before, and while this is merely a medal for participation, I’ll bloody cherish it!

I roped my mum into doing it too, and she’s got more sponsers than I. Mostly because she rings up random family members, and TELLS them they’re sponsering her! Most of my friends are too skint to be asked to sponser me, and I am so out of touch with most of my family that I’d feel really bad asking that of them.

So I’m asking you instead. Would any of you be willing to sponser the fat girl to do a 6 mile midnight walk?

(I’m down to 16st 3lb at the moment weight wise. At my heaviest I was 17st 9lb, so yay me! When I get to 16st dead on, I’ll weigh exactly what I did when I was 9 months pregnant with Callum!)

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I would love to have another baby in the house.

But it’s not going to happen.

This isn’t a bad thing, I’m not depressed and miserable that we’re not going to have any more in the foreseeable future. In fact, in a few ways I’m bloody glad I’ve got a level enough head on my shoulders to know that more would be a bad idea.

Why I’m glad to not have another baby:

Labour 1: 1 day

Labour 2: 3 (!!) Days

Labour to-maybe-eventually-occur: 9 or 5 days (depending on what pattern you follow)

So while labour is technically a very small part of pregnancy, if I can avoid it I bloody well will!

Although I have to say, I can be quite eloquent whilst delivering…

“POPPLE!! I think my bowels are falling out!”

Also, obviously, the financial side or it. Which I’m going to extend to include the education side of it.

We’re just about getting by as it is. We’re not scrimping each and every week (yet) but we can’t splash out and spend the day at Oasis like we planned for Pop’s birthday. We started out at the very worst of housing (a squat) and financial-ness (both unemployed). And while I do look back at those times fondly on occasion (No spaghetti on the walls, lock-in’s at the pub ‘till 4am…) I would never like to take my kids there. It’s one thing to be deprived as (technically) adults, but children shouldn’t have to suffer through it.
Also, come October I should be starting on my way to work towards a degree in social work. It’s been in the pipeline for years, but this year I have finally sent in all the forms and filled in all the details, and now I’m just waiting for conformation of my place on the course. Being skint is great in one respect, course fees paid for! I want to concentrate my spare energy on that, and show those nay-sayers I CAN do it.

Also, of course, I want to be there for the kids I do already have. I know many people get by with large and quick families, but I’m not one of them.

I think that it’ll be at least 8 years before we try for any more. 6 years doing my (part time) degree with the Open University, 2 years working. Callum will then be 12 and Sam will be 9.

Fuck. I’ll be 30!!

30 years old…

Now my thoughts have gone off on a whole ‘nother tangent.

Let’s hope Popple has managed to get a bit more sex drive by then.

Shit, he’ll be 43. Ha! At least I’ll still be young(er) and more fabulous than him.

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